Congratulations, it's an ester!

I figured out today in ochem lab that my unknown is an ester, I'm really proud of it. I was standing there with the ferric chloride dropper looking at my solution and thinking "I'm going to add this, and youre going to turn magenta/dark purple, and we're going to be glad you're an ester, and I'm going to go home." and it worked! So, yeah, that was pretty exciting for me. Now im going to listen to some loud music, go to dinner, and do my bio homework. It's going to be a good night. :D

really early

well, its not so early, im off to go work on some stat at the reg, i must document this: my hair looks awesome right now. unfortunately no one is awake to see its glory right now, and it will probably be messed up later by either hats (its -11 C) or my frustration culminating in a ponytail. Anyway, im off, i stayed up to late, but had a lot of fun last night, perhaps more fun will ensue tonight since its actually weekend! woot. hope you all have a beautiful day.

On the Death Penalty and the Intrinsic Nature of Humans

Disclaimer: This may be very boring to anyone who is not me.

I had a good talk with Andrew today as we got “coffee” from Starbucks, also known as chai and chocolate… but it was good. The question of the day for me has been Are Humans Basically Good and If They Are, How Should We Treat Criminals?

Children: Are children innocent? After babysitting today I can definitely attest that those over 3 are definitely with faults, to be expected. They can be selfish, mean, disrespectful, and in general hurtful. Are the basic components of what lies at the core of a human is consistent with those of a child? Is looking at a child like looking at a pure human? Or is it just the opposite, is a child an incomplete human, having not gone through maturity or many life experiences? Do we earn goodness as we go through life? If that is the case, can someone miss out on being good, and is it their fault?

After Death: What happens after you die? Are my beliefs of reincarnation and journey to enlightenment true? If I believe in them, does that make them true? If I believe there is no hell, does that mean that hell does not exist? Or perhaps that it doesn’t exist for me? Do my beliefs have any bearing on others? Even if my beliefs are not true, does that matter for this life, since I live as if they were anyway? If there is no death, only reincarnation until perfect understanding is reached, then is death anything to be afraid of or to be given to someone as punishment? Can death be a viable alternative to life, a good way of starting over? Is the point of living to not get it right? Why is there an innate fear of death in humans?

Purpose of Justice: In America, if a person commits a crime and is sent to jail, what are they supposed to do there? Are they learning from their mistakes and altering their mindset to what is considered healthy and normal? Are they being scared into never wanting to be sent back, therefore never wanting to *be caught* committing another crime, which does not solve the problem, only stops it from being expressed? Or are they there to wait out their days since they are unfit to be a part of society? If the purpose is to rehabilitate people, why are we scaring the ever-loving daylights out of these people? Why do we not give them kindness and help to try to discover and eliminate whatever caused them to be a criminal in the first place? (Because that costs more money? Is that money saved worth a wasted human life?)

Death Penalty: If the point is to punish someone, it seems that living in jail is more painful than death. If the point is to rehabilitate someone, then the death penalty is pointless as is spending the rest of your life in prison. If the point is to kind to them and save them from the pain of their past and allow them a fresh start (a different kind of rehabilitation) then the death penalty seems to be the best choice for me. But is it ok to impose my ideals on someone when I don’t know for sure that they are true? It doesn’t seem fair.

Conclusions: I think that humans are good, but it takes maturity to learn how to understand and express it. I think that the purpose of the justice system *should be* to rehabilitate the criminals and help them rejoin society. I think the purpose of the justice system *is* to weed out those not worthy of being in today’s society and scare those who fall prey to temptation. I don’t think I could ever wish the death penalty on someone, just as I could never force another person to live by my beliefs. I don’t think revenge is a good enough reason to punish someone. I don’t think all laws are just. I don’t think an eye for an eye, a death for a death is a good ideal for society, and I don’t believe we have moved beyond it yet. I don’t think that one pays a debt to society by living off of the peoples’ money in the prison system, squirreled away on their own. I believe that often times criminals need to make amends, but it is not done by going to prison.

Any other thoughts or conclusions are encouraged and appreciated.

good evening, weird night

Yesterday was a good day, despite warnings that the 24th of January is the worst day of the year. I had ochem lab where I didn’t get my derivates to precipitate, but the lab director said we can have some more time with some of the tests and go over them, because a lot of people are having problems with their unknowns. I worked on my bio homework which was easy and fun to do. Then I worked on my ochem problem set for a while. At one point I took a break and realized when I shut the book with the assignment in it that the paper sticking out read "Due Thursday" so I was done with that for the night. I proceeded to 113 to have some fun with the guys there including interesting discussion.

The other day Jonathan told me about the trial he was a jury member for and that was very interesting, I don’t know if I would ever be ok wishing the death penalty on someone. I think there are other methods that are more effective for punishing people. And I also don’t know if I agree with the idea that after committing a crime, a person should be punished, why don’t we actually try to rehabilitate them? Why don’t we treat them with kindness and show them that they don’t need to act that way? I know it sounds very idealistic, but there are some underlying problems with our justice system that obviously isn’t working. Perhaps I'm just being naive and thinking people are innately good.

After that, I went to bed early and had some pretty weird dreams toward morning. I dreamt that, over a week or so, I kept having dreams where I would die, and not just old age or the like, but I was actively murdered and there was some psychologist who was by my bed (in my dream) who would shake me and I would tell him how I had died (in the dream in my dream). I remember one time an elephant firing squad shot me, another time I was pushed off a cliff by Nazis, a third time I was electrocuted somehow, and I’m not really clear on the rest of them. Anyway, it was pretty weird. So while I’ve never had a dream where I’ve died, I’ve now had a dream where I dreamt that I died. I attribute it to reading CNN before bed and how people are being attacked by sharks and being bombed and dying from bird flu and all that awful stuff.

today

well, today was a good day. i feel i had a breakthrough with my ochem last night, i wish i would have had a chance to study, another day or something, before my midterm this morning, unfortunatly, that was not the case. i do feel i understand the material though, and i also have this great feeling of appreciation for the beauty that is ochem and i want to study it more. i think tomorrow i will continue to pour over the book and try to glean as much as i can from it while im riding the understanding wave. i would have gone to the library today to do so but i had babysitting and had made plans with laura to see Phantom of the Opera downtown. speaking of which, it was good. im very torn on a few issues in it, like how christine cant ever seem to decide which guy she wants to be with and how the phantom is such an unnecessarily cruel guy at times, sure, he had a rough childhood, but thats no reason to kill people who see you. also, i dont like how christine allowed herself to be objectified. yes, she is beautiful, but simply no one wears revealing clothing outside while its snowing, thats dumb. also, she says she simultaneously wants freedom and wants someone to guide her and hold her and all that which sounds like she is just being childish to me. despite all that though, the magnificence of the costumes, sets, voices, actors, etc. definitely outweighed anything negative, it was very enjoyable to watch.

Im very tired. i have had about 4 hours of sleep each night for the past two nights, due to ochem and also due to kuvienga at 6 in the mornings. i was talking with laura about why ive been doing it since ive been kinda busy, and i guess when i would only get 5 hours, and i wanted to do kuvienga all week this year, i decided missing an hour of sleep really wasnt all that bad, difference between waking up at 5:45 and 6:45, really not that big. So now im going to go to bed and wake up in 5 3/4 hours for kuvienga (probably followed by going back to bed until class at 10:30). but yeah, it was a good tuesday.

amusing sidenote: walking behind pairs of people when its cold and snowing is really funny because you get to see them try to talk to each other by turning their shoulders to see each other around huge hoods. reminds me of fargo, its funny, and im sure i do it too.

On God's Sense of Humor

Also on fun in ochem lab.

Ive had a really tough couple of days. All in a row i have two problem sets, a huge ochem lab, and an ochem midterm. I was upset that this lab today was going to be so long because it was really just bad luck. Its organic qualitative analysis and i unfortunately got a compound that didnt react to anything last week and this week i had a lot of tests to do because i hadnt really narrowed it down. Well, it wasnt an alcohol, it wasnt a ketone or an aldehyde, i decided to test for an amide. This test involved heating my sample with NaOH in a steam bath until it boils. The test tube is covered with filter paper with copper compound on it and if its an amide then the paper will turn blue after it boils. anyway, the steam wasnt hot enough to get it to boil without totally saturating the paper with steam, so my TA said i should try heating it with a bunsen burner. Well, i did, and i had more bad luck for when i was looking at it wondering why it wasnt boiling, the filter paper exploded off. I got a face-full of base and boy did it hurt. I ran to the eye wash and washed my face and then went to the bathroom the wash my arms and goggles and everything, there was a lot of me freaking out in the midst of all that too and making a big scene in the middle of lab. So i guess God's sense of humor is that as much work i have to do and however busy i am, at least i am thankful that i have my face intact. Also, the beauty is when i came back from the bathroom, the filter paper was blue, it was an amide, which means i got to go home.

In other news, i had the first day of Kangeiko today which was loads of fun. i woke up at 5:30 and headed over to the gym where we had a bit of jogging followed by stretching and sun salutes (yoga move) which was loads of fun for early in the morning. i plan on going all week, and then on friday, the group heads over to the point to do sun salutes and hope that the sun will rise while we are there, sounds like fun, oh, and if you go everyday this week, you get a shirt. :D

On Restaurants Worth Writing About

For anyone who cares, Michael did the restaurant much more justice than i did, so you should read his post: http://cuppaurlgrey.com/v-web/b2/index.php?p=472 (he even corrected me on the use of the link, :D)

Last night was spectacular. Danit, Laura, Michael and I went downtown to what sounded like an excellent Tapas restaurant which had been rated in Zagats. Cafe Iberico (with an accent on both e's) It was phenomenol. It was huge. The impression given off by the crowded bar/waiting room (hallway more like) was of a small cozy restaurant. Our wait of 45 minutes seemed reasonable since the cafe didnt accept reservations on weekend nights and we all figured that it was the sign of a good restaurant. When we were led to our seat we found ourselves in one of three huge dining rooms. The waiters were amazing, carrying plates stacked all the way up one arm but the food was even more amazing. I got baked goat cheese with tomato basil sauce and vegetable spanish omlete which was more like potato quiche, very very very tasty. Other people got scallops and pototoe salad and salmon and chichen and so much good food. And we had great desserts of either ice cream filled crepes with strawberry sauce or sauteed carmelized banana (I went for the former) with cafe con leche. And to top off the most excellent dining experience, we were all in such good moods and the conversation and company was impecable. I would recommend the restaurant to anyone who likes tapas (spanish side dishes made small so you can order two for your meal) and wants to explore downtown La Salle street. It is obviously not an unknown to the UC crowd, we saw someone who lived in our dorm last year and my stat TA there.

After eating for an hour and a half, we caught the redline followed by the 6 back to shoreland. We were going to watch a movie but it wouldnt play on the DVD player when Laura figured out that it still played on her computer. Unfortunately, we figured out the reason it wouldnt play on the DVD player when it stopped working at the very end right before the ending. Ah, well, such is life I suppose.

Today: a day at the library with my textbooks and my notebooks. I wish everyone out there in internet land a good day!

e-smack in the face

GET TO WORK BETHANY!!!

ok ok ok, well, i will in a minute. i just got off the phone with my parents, and they are amazing. I recently obtained a temporary job working as a babysitter for 3 kids down the hall for 6 hours a week, should be fun. today i dropped a bottle of juice in bartmart and it shattered, i felt bad. i found the sauna in ratner after a tip off, much fun has ensued. i love my friends, even when they are not at their finest, i still love them all. and most of all, i love bio :D and i am really looking forward to lab tomorrow, which i need to go work on the prelab for, so i shall now retire to the library, goodnight world!

Ahh, Good Old Chicago

It has been one day back in Chicago, and it is great. I got in yesterday around 11:15 and proceeded to putz around the room, unpacking, restocking the bathroom since we had to take everything out for the staff to clean it over break (a small price to pay) and just generally hanging out in my room (::smile:: my room). I then proceeded to head out to lunch with Michael when we ran into Zach and so the three of us went to Noddles etc. which was fun. Then there was mail and bank and then osco and seeing Carlos. I saw lots of cool people that I had not seen in a long time over dinner and then proceeded to head over to shoreland with Michael to watch Mulan with Leah and Laura. I have been wanting to see that movie again for many many months, and I am so thrilled to have seen it again. :D Fabulous. And now I have attempted (and succeeded so far) to regain a normal sleeping pattern, but it probably wouldnt be very hard since Ive been getting 10 hours of sleep a night for the past 3 weeks. Well, I hope everyone who reads this has an excellent day.

:D

I've got so many ideas for the new year, it is always so exciting to me to get a chance for a new start. And gosh, where should I begin... I've given up coming up with formal resolutions, but since I am nowhere near perfect, I will try to improve. I don't like the way last quarter went, it left a sour taste in my mouth and I have a lot of ideas to make it better for this quarter. Ive got that excitement of getting to do something over again, its really a great feeling. So now I just have to get out there and do it.

As for the last hours of 2004, it was really great. Things were iffy for a long time about our (me, em, sara) plans for tonight and it worked out well in the end at em's house with some excellent food, great friends, (how to word this:) interesting and explicit conversation, and just a lot of fun. Ryan as the psychiatrist is simply hilarious, he just makes everything about him with questions like "do you find me attractive" and the likes. I also saw angela, kenny, robert, viva, sean, bill, ernest, april, and probably other people that I cant think of right now.

Now it is time for me to go to sleep and rest before the long drive back to Indiana tomorrow. Im really looking forward to going back to chicago, and to kick it off with excellent plans to get together with Michael, always something great to look forward to. Good night world, and all good fortunes for a new year.